Level 5: Fulfilling Your Purpose
“Installing the Virus of Gratitude”
Reading my shit is probably odd or confusing at times. Especially when I start talking about video games, glitches, players and programmers. You probably tell yourself, “This dude has lost it for sure.” You would be completely right…I have lost it. It was not more than 8 months ago that I was a completely miserable human being. I was so tired of wandering through life like I had been…forever. I was tired of not being in control of anything; not my feelings, not my actions, and certainly not my life.
As a matter of fact, let me tell a story of how miserable I was.
There I was, laying in my bed in beautiful Hawaii. It was an absolutely perfect mid-week afternoon. I mean, if it was on a postcard rack you would’ve immediately gravitated towards it. The only reason I noticed its perfection was because I looked up from my phone briefly to concentrate. I had spent most of the last 3 days swiping away the vacation of a lifetime on Tinder. Carefully crafting my responses to each message to lead them down a path that always ended the same way. Either receiving the validation I needed in the form of immediate gratification or the feeling of inferiority I was familiar with when I didn’t get the fulfillment I needed…usually the latter if I’m being honest. When I wasn’t searching for my soulmate while being thousands of miles away from them, the rest of my time was spent scrolling through Facebook.
Fortunately, I’m a very accident-prone individual…with mounds of historical data to back up that statement. I ran across a blog post from an old acquaintance I had worked with a few years ago. We had helped build the brand of an influencer together. I was fascinated…not with the blog post. Let’s be real, I didn’t really read the blog post. I was more concerned with how he could make my new business venture profitable. Patrick could run masterful ads on Facebook. So, with the same insecurity I had crafted my unauthentic lines on Tinder, I sent him a message for help.
This began the revolution that would shift my perception.
He was very reluctant to help me. It wasn’t personal, he just didn’t get down with the sales/marketing stuff anymore. In fact, when he told me he had quit his multiple 6 figure job and left that lifestyle behind to move to Bali without a plan, I immediately judged him and his sanity. The only reason he was willing to help me was because we were old friends. He had moved on to his passion of helping entrepreneurs reach their highest level which I had no interest in. This began a chain reaction of occurrences would completely transform the reality I lived in and send me into another dimension of existence…one I had never experienced before.
I had a mind that moved at remarkable speed with great potential…but no way to slow it down enough to control it. I never really gave a shit about money because I never had trouble making it. I’ve made more money than I could spend responsibly most of my adult life and it never satisfied me…nothing did. Whether it was money, drugs, women, or more “stuff,” my cup was never full. The feelings of insecurity and inferiority never left me…hence the search for my future wife on Tinder in Hawaii; thousands of miles away from home. I was fed up with the bullshit. Enough was enough…and so it began. It all started with the desperation of an insecure 30-year-old man hoping to find the answer to a lifelong inferiority problem in a business program claiming to, “Free Your Mind.” A business program I desperately hoped I could apply to my life. If that doesn’t paint a clear picture of how miserable and hopeless I felt, I don’t know what will. Over the course of several months I made monumental strides in the growth of my character. I mean…fucking monumental. Profound experiences like this don’t happen to prolific fuck-ups like me.
“I don’t know what it is man, but you have something special…those boys are getting better.”
This was a direct quote from my best friend a few days ago. Oh! Let me get you up to speed on my current status. A couple months ago I walked away from my profitable 7-year sales job without a backup plan or alternative form of income. I haven’t worried about it for more than a fleeting moment or wanted for anything. I have spent all of my time creating free authentic content for people like me looking for answers. I have been trusted by those brave enough to share about their low self-esteem, inferiority, insecurity, and compulsive behavior and walk with them to the other side of it. I have been able to love those who hate themselves. I have shown those unable to conform to the mold “necessary” to change another way. A way that doesn’t involve them fighting with themselves every day for the rest of their life, never finding the inner-peace they were really searching for.
Guiding them on their path instead of directing them on my own. Your higher self will never accept a purpose you try to force upon it. It will rebel until you learn another way. So, if it’s fulfillment that you’re searching for, stop looking for answers outside of yourself and find someone that can guide and empower you on the journey to searching inside of yourself.
The fulfillment of purpose is an odd thing for someone that was never going to escape the illusion of reality they had lived in for so long. People like me don’t get better…best case scenario we don’t get worse. The more control I have given up, the more powerful I have become. Since people used to say shit like that and it never made sense to me, let me explain. The more I have altered and challenged my perception, the less effect life circumstances and outcomes outside of my control have on me. The more I focus on how I can use my gifts to give back, the less concerned I am about being paid. The universe always comes full circle when I am able to receive it.
After I left my career, I knew that eventually bills would be due and they’d have to be paid; but I also knew that my capacity for making money has never been the problem. My problem is that I let that become the priority in life and it’s never fulfilling…and I’m sick of that shit. So, I focused on doing what I love, and the results were in, it worked, and people found the puzzle piece they were looking for. The results are in, now what? I don’t search for answers because if I’m looking, I never see them.
They appear when the time is right.
Two days ago, I decided that might be the next step in fulfilling my purpose. I had no connections, no information, and no specific resources to head that direction. Instead of using all of my time to search for the answer, I turned my attention back to my purpose. I helped one of my best friends begin his journey out of the internal conflict he had been suffering from. He asked me about it and I showed him. I did this purely because I loved him. Apparently, it affected him…enough that he told his mother. Turns out his mother is a life coach and was interested in hearing the system I used. I didn’t do anything except build a reality that allowed him to dismantle his own…altering his perception enough to see another way…a possibility…a GLITCH.
After explaining it, I received a very reassuring response that I was on to something. Yes, I felt a little validated. She invited me to an event to help connect me with a network that would fast track me to fulfilling my purpose. The more I succeed in controlling my reality and fulfilling my purpose, the less I’m distracted by the illusions of comfort.
The game of life is simply an ability to interpret illusion and reality. An ability to separate the true from false and outcome from purpose. The purpose comes from the heart of the Player when they are ready to put aside the fear of getting less for the abundance of giving more. There will never be enough external gratification to fill a void requiring purpose.
Without purpose, why do you get up in the morning? Why are you here? Do you believe your worth is measured in a currency of wealth, power, validation, or the love from another? A purpose is a gift of authenticity you give to the world. A purpose so strong that you cannot contain your enthusiasm, love, and passion for it. The feeling is so overwhelming that concealing it would not only be morally wrong, but it would be downright irresponsible.
My higher self-showed me a path to fulfillment and freedom and I ignored it for 30 years. My existence became meaningless and the pain became great enough to ask for help. Although I have had reservations at times, I have stayed the course…reminding myself that everything fulfilling in life has come from a place of faith and gratitude. I recognize that when I am present in the moment and fulfilling my purpose. The cup of purpose never needs to be refilled when it’s overflowing with gratitude. The only barrier between you and fulfillment is you. Stop buying into the illusion of social comparison your mind keeps selling you. It’s bullshit.
Oh, shit! I forgot the game analogy….um…oh!
Programming a new game just isn’t possible. Sorry, but you can’t reprogram the coding of life, only your interpretation of the game you’re playing. You’re just the Programmer of your own reality. A Programmer alters the coding of the game by contributing to the gameplay. The game was never meant to be reprogrammed…but installing the virus of gratitude will infect the stories of the characters you touch.
Isn’t it time to uninstall all that bullshit you’ve been carrying with you for years? You deserve better and can have it, too…you can be reprogrammed…you just have to believe.